You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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