i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
