Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
