With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
it's like iHOP with fire
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
