we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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