Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
