My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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