She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
