if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
