shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
