His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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