I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Four minutes until I can fart!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
