Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
