he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
