Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
did i walk over a car last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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