the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
