Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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