He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
