That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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