Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
