If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
