Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
