So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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