ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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