pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize