i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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