And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
