I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i dont even know how to be here
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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