when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
