Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
