Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
