stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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