don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
