I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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