WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
