Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
