If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
