is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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