Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize