I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
