another moral hangover. fuck.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
