Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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