5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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