so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
