he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
