Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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