what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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