i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
