I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize