it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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