I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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