sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
