i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
