ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
