never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
