I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
