I cut my penus on the lid.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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