just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
