How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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