so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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