I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
