Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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