Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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