I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
