I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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