see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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